After re-reading my first draft upon it’s completion, I was able to realize, how I have the tendency to provide too much detail on one side of an argument while providing too little on the other. I also usually make my introduction paragraphs way too long. Since reading “Shitty First Drafts”, I am less worried of the state of my first draft as I now know that the first draft is not going to really ever be as the final copy due to multiple revisions. I appreciate her saying “the first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later.” This is both useful and relatable as I tend to write from the top of my head which can lead to the first draft being somewhat structurally unorganized and/or with not enough detail. With all my thoughts on paper and with an idea of what I need to improve, I can write my final draft knowing that it will be a much better product.
Revision Plan: My goal, in terms of revising my essay is to fix my tendency of over providing detail on one side of an argument while often overlooking the other side. I also plan on also condensing my introductory paragraph as it is slightly too long. Steps that I plan to take to achieve this is to re-read my first draft, while also re-evaluating the details given and also adding details to the opposing viewpoint of Southan to the Effective Altruists. I will also re-evaluate many of the points given in my introduction out of necessity. I will also consider the comments given by my peers and apply their ideas to my essay when possible. My biggest challenge will most likely be re organizing the structure of my essay as my ideas can be somewhat scattered. The resources I would be likely to use if the challenge proves too difficult would be further peer and teacher consultation while also looking online for help.
I also really liked that quote that was used! I think it is good that you’re able to realize which parts of your essay needs work. With that being said, once you provide an equal amount of detail on both sides and fix your introductory paragraph, I think you will enjoy your essay better and feel more confident in it.
Sounds like a plan. As you clean up excessive details and/or become more selective about the points you want to make, I’m guessing you will find reorganizing a little easier.